Sunday, 3 August 2008

Haven't we been down this road before?

Greetings one and all.



Once again, apologies for the delayed blogging, but as you are about to discover, this old beagle has been put through the mill a bit recently, so its taken a bit of a back seat.



We shall start by jumping forward slightly to the weekend after I blogged last. It was a glorious day on saturday for more than one reason. Firstly, it was a gorgeously sunny day, not as muggy and horrible as we've been having recently, but nice and hot, just the way we like it. Secondly, Villa beat Odense to get through to the last qualifying round of the uefa cup, which was great, especially as we watched it in the lovely sunshine. Finally, we won the lottery again, although there does come a time when you just get sick of £10 every 3 years!



.....that, unfortunately, was a small highlight of a very dark 10 days or so.....



It started on the Thursday before the Villa game, I had been waiting for a good position to come up in my firm since I joined over a year ago, because after all, who wants to get to the age of 26 and still be working in a dull admin job? Anyway, a position arose in one of the two big departments in the office, and the partner heading up the department asked me if I would apply for the position, as she thought I would be a good candidate for the role. 'Great' I thought, 'not only has a fantastic position come up in the right team, that seems perfect for me to kick-start my career in law, but the partner in charge seems to think I have something to offer!' (You can see where this is going can't you!)

So, the interview came round in early July, I went in for the 'verbal reasoning' test, which has nothing verbal, nor any reason, to it, and then had my interview, which went really well. The people who interviewed me nodded and agreed in all the right places, I was confident, relaxed and at ease with the pretty intense questions they were throwing at me, and so I came out of there feeling that I had done the best I could, so whatever the outcome, I'd given it my all.......



......so I waited.....


.....for 17 WHOLE DAYS!


....until finally the partner in charge called me into her office to tell me if I'd got the job or not.

Now, lets do a little experiment with all you lovely people who read this little blog of mine. How would you react if you had trained for over 6 years to become half qualified in a profession that you loved and that you had worked so hard to try and carve out a career in, only to be told that you wouldn't be getting the job that you have prayed for in a big firm because 'your personality isn't right for the department'?

Ok, answers written down? Well theres more. Not only do I not have the right personality to 'fit in' with the department, but my personality 'would be more suited to the mainstream (standard) side of litigation', meaning I don't have what it takes to be a hard-nosed lawyer when the going gets tough. In other words, I will be a weak lawyer!

And in true Rocky style, the third punch threw me off my feet and onto the canvas, because to aid my progression into mediocrity in the profession that I love, I 'should wait for a similar position to come up in our other litigation team', which would be a really good idea....if a position ever came up in the history of that team.....


....which is hasn't.....


......since that team started a decade ago.......


....which the partner in question knows full well!


As if that wasn't enough, as I sat there, taking the punches like Dolph Lundgren in Rocky 4, there was one final insult that was afforded to me, because not only was I not good enough in pretty much every possible way, but even if I had been a half decent proposition, I was up against people 'who had degrees'. Now, I have been passed over for more jobs than I care to remember, most of which are because some little tax-dodger has waltzed in, waved a bit of paper under the interviewers nose that says 'degree' and walked off with my job. On more than one occasion, I have got down to the last two candidates and been beaten by someone with an Art Degree, yes kids an Art Degree! I have nothing against people who have degrees, in fact I admire them for getting a degree, lord knows its hard enough to get one of those even if you put in the hard yards, but to overlook someone with experience and a professional qualification in favour of someone with a piece of paper, no interest in law, and a student loan to repay, really does take the piss!

Suffice to say this did not sit right with me, and within about half an hour, most people in the office had heard and were equally annoyed on my behalf, which is nice I suppose, although doesn't help me in the long run, as I now have to look for yet another job, which to be honest, I don't have the strength for at the moment. This has just knocked my confidence for six, and I really don't know where to go at the moment. I certainly can't stay at my current firm, as that little episode shut every door for me at the firm and stopped me from ever applying for a promotion there again, which really does hurt, as I was enjoying myself there. The firm was going in the right direction, until now there was alot of room for progression in the firm, and the people were great, but now its put me off applying elsewhere as I'll have one of the same problems anywhere else!

It has also damaged my confidence in my career, which is one of the worst feelings you can have, as this is yet another firm that has dealt me a blow, so you have to wonder is it really worth it, which is a question I have asked myself every day since, and unfortunately for my self-confidence, the answer is always 'yes'. So I will get my operation out of the way on the 22nd, then in the new year start looking for work again, and hope that in that time my confidence has somehow miraculously returned and that I can sell myself sufficiently to another firm and start all over again!

The Friday was spent in a whole other, numb, place in my mind, having forgotten my mobile when I left the house, which felt like my right leg was missing! After work, we went out for a few drinks. Now, having not eaten all afternoon and had a few pints, the following story shall be saved under the 'Things not to think about when you're tipsy!'.

I had been planning on getting the 27 past 6 train home, but I knew I was alright because if I missed that train, I could always get another 20 minutes later. Having arrived at the station I quickly realised that I had just missed the first train and had misread the timetable on their website, as the next train would be more than an hour away, which would mean that not only would I not get home until after 8pm, having eaten nothing and drank alot, therefore arriving dead, but I could not simply just hop on a train going to Solihull and call mom as I had no mobile and no brain activity telling me how to use a payphone.

So I came up with a fiendishly good, and foolproof, plan!

After 10 minutes of sitting there trying to make the chiltern train stop spinning round my head, I realised that there was a train to Shirley going in a few minutes time, and that it wasn't much of a walk to Wythall from that station, maybe 20 minutes or so, so I could just get on that train, and be home before the Stratford train gets in, easy!

Now, cast your mind back to the friday before last, and how hot it was. Now, having been on the AA website, I realised that I half walked, half ran home from the station in hot conditions for 2.3 MILES!!, but the important thing is that while I almost had a heart attack, was stung in the leg by a stinging nettle, and lost half a stone in weight as I was doing it in a suit, shirt, tie, and shoes that you can't run in, I beat the Stratford train....


....by 10 minutes!

I felt justified till I got in, collapsed on the floor, then realised how many phone boxes I had passed on the way home, not to mention the phone boxes at Solihull station (crikey, imagine if I had run home from there!)

This past week has been pretty much a blur for me at work, I can't say whether we've been busy or not because I simply don't give one any more. I'm sure I'll quite like the job again soon, but lets face it, its very doubtful! To add insult to injury, not only can i not go to the bloodbath that will be the Liverpool game at the end of this month, but Villa have swapped the uefa cup legs round, so whereas I could have gone to the original home leg on the 14th, I now can't go to the 'new' home leg on the 28th, as I will still be 'sore' to say the least *sigh* But I have a week off this week, and that can't start soon enough!

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