The Stag Party

During my absence from this comforting corner of cyberspace, there has been a wedding in our little group. Yes, the brave young souls of Jenny and Marcus have tied the knot, but that is to be dealt with in a later post, as, first up, we have the ritual stag party, and all the fun of the fair!

It was my first stag party, and so I didn't really know what to expect, which I always think is the best way to deal with any new situation you find yourself in. So, a few weeks ago, me, Gareth (you remember him, beardy bloke, used to write stuff on a site just like this one, only a little bit more about him), Adam, Carl and John all piled into Gareths car and toddled up to Liverpool for the weekend of fun, frivolity and....well anything else we could get away with!

First on the agenda was clay pigeon shooting in chester. Now, having never been the sort of chap to shoot any kind of clay ornaments, I've only got my Dad's experiences to go on, when he used to go on these kind of expeditions, pre-health and safety (yes, before those yellow jacketted people stole our youth and happiness!), and he used to come home black and blue, as the shotguns they used were alot heavier than our modern equivalent. So it was fair to say I was expecting at least a dislocated shoulder and a fair amount of bruising!

As it was, I got neither (which wasn't meant to sound disappointing!), but instead found a tendency to smash Granny's plates as they came hurtling through the air, which is always something to be proud of, unless you happen to be reading this, recruiting for the front line, in which case I didn't hit a single thing, then lost sight in one eye! We were split into two teams, which almost always means I end up on the losing team, which was no different here, however we all found comfort in the thought that, as Marcus was on the winning team, they obviously cheated their way to the title, which is probably not true, but we'll stick to our story eh!

From there, we all jumped back into our cars, and headed into Liverpool, Marcus now complete with varying bits of stag party paraphernalia, fake boobs, top hat, blow-up doll, ball and chain and t-shirt expertly made by Gareth and John, and the rest of us just glad it hadn't peed down on us while we were doing the more manual of our excursions of the weekend.

Now, having been a 'southern softie' and proud of it for these last 27 years, and having never been to Liverpool, and allowing the wonderfully 'truthful' media rule my thoughts on the area, I had imagined Liverpool to be some wasteland, run by some Mad Max-style vigilantes driving Vauxhall Nova's, stealing hubcaps whilst wearing shellsuits and saying 'Ay Ay Ay' alot, but to my happy amazement, the city itself is a fantastic city to visit. I never expected there to be such a mix of old and modern buildings, and certainly didn't expect there to be such a massive entertainment district, with more bars than you could shake a drunk stag at.

Our hotel, if you could call it that, was, unfortunately a big minus point. I'm not sure exactly how to describe it, other than the fact that it constantly reminded me of one of those dirty american motels, where hundreds of people either kill themselves or each other, each year! For some reason, the walls were painted using paint that had clearly missed the paint chart by a good few feet, and instead just shouted colours at you as you walked down the corridors. Not to mention the toilets that were straight out of a japanese bullet train, plastic from floor to ceiling, and no room to swing an imaginary cat, yet alone anything else. Having said that, it was a cheap place to lay your head, so long as you intended to have a good wash when you got home!

So, onto the evening entertainment, and after going to an amazing indian restaraunt, and making Marcus eat a chilli, which blew his head off, we headed into the city centre, and visited various bars, only stopping to have our photos taken with various hen parties touring the city. We ended up going into the Cavern Club, which I've always wanted to do, although the real Cavern Club is closed now, due to those lovely people in health and safety (I mean, who REALLY needs a fire exit nowadays!). We wanted to see a band playing in the club, but not seeing one in the main room, yours truly spotted an annexe and a bouncer, which usually means there is a VIP section and/or a private party. So, after sweet-talking the bouncer, I managed to get us into the private party next door, so we could watch the show, which was a part-stage production/part-60's music festival show, which was really good.

From there, we ventured onto the main event of the evening. Now, it wasn't quite up to the Peppermint Hippo standards that some of us may be used to (mentioning no names!), but it was good fun, especially watching as Marcus went through his ritual humiliation, live on stage....which is all I shall say on the internet!!

After that, we finished the night off in another bar, then headed back in the rain to our hotel/motel/murder-tel, which wasn't too far away, although it seemed like miles in the pouring rain!

In the morning, we dragged ourselves up and out to get some breakfast from the Docks, which was really nice, then Marcus wanted to go for a wander, which was when our stag party went a little.....differently.

Marcus loves his big organs..........especially the biggest one in Liverpool Cathedral, so we all trundled up there and had a wander round the place, which is absoutely spectacular, and well worth a visit. The organ itself is a magnificent piece of manufacturing, but I won't bore you with the details, as it is stupid 'o' clock in the morning while I'm writing this and I am pretty tired, but thanks to Gareth we got a chance to have a look 'backstage' at all the workings of the machinery, which was really interesting.

Not to be outdone, we then went and had a look at the modern Metropolitan Cathedral, which is fascinating, mainly as it is a modern Cathedral, but also as, when we went in there, they were holding a choral practice, so it was very ethereal and stunning really.

From there, and safe in the knowledge that we were probably the first stag party to end up in 2 cathedrals on the same day, we headed back to the cars, and went on our merry way, back to normality, and ready for the wedding of the year!

TTFN!